WARNING!!! If you haven’t seen Frozen, don’t read this post because there are spoilers.
Frozen is definitely a great movie for kids who don’t mind Disney romance. But when I was watching it, my mind was focused on other things besides the story and what the creators of the movie wanted me to focus on. It started from the very beginning.
It started when the Disney logo showed up with it’s castle, and the music accompanying the logo reminded me of Lion King. Hmm… I didn’t know we were watching an African movie…
But a frozen lake showed up, that doesn’t really look very African does it? But I forgot all about the African part when someone stabbed the ice with a pickaxe. After he did that, I was hoping he knew what he was doing, because if he didn’t, all the ice would have cracked up and he would have fallen in.
During the whole scene with the guys who collected and sold ice, I was really hoping the ice wasn’t going to break, and when the scene was over and no one was hurt, I felt very relieved.
Then when Anna hopped up onto Elsa’s bed in the next scene and laid down on top of Elsa, I was thinking that what Anna did would have hurt. I was also concerned for Anna because I never saw the bed she slept on… maybe I missed it.
In the next scene, Elsa and Anna are running to that ball room or whatever, and when Elsa was telling Anna to be quiet, she wasn’t being very quiet themselves, and in fact both were being really loud, even when they started playing in the room filled with snow, they were being loud. When Elsa was calling for their parents, she wasn’t any louder than they were when they were playing, but their parents came in as quickly as if they were in the next room when the accident happened.
As the family was riding to the trolls, they were making a trail of frost. So I guess the horse was magic, or what? I’ve never seen that happen.
The next thing I was really concerned about was the trolls. They were called trolls, but they didn’t look like trolls. I thought trolls were big and liked to argue with each other, and turned to stone in the day.
The next few scenes were quite boring, and I got really tired of song Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?
The next thing I really wanted to point out was one of the horses, which reminded me of the horse in Tangled, and really the whole movie reminded me of Tangled. Then Anna starts singing with this guys we’ve never seen before and suddenly they get engaged, and they call it true love! Anna thinks she knows everything about true love, but really, I doubt it. She’d been cooped up in a house with nobody to play with except pictures on the wall. How could she hardly know anything at all about any kind of love?
Next Elsa runs away to the north mountain and puts on a show that nobody is watching. Yes, I’ve heard that song even before I saw the movie. Let it go, they tell me, but I ain’t lettin’ nothin go because if I do I’m gonna drop it… and then it’s gonna break, if it’s glass or LEGO.
During the song she builds this gigantic castle made entirely of ice. Hopefully she put up a disclaimer so she wouldn’t get sued if someone slipped in the lobby and broke something, like an arm.
Then Anna decides to find Elsa. You would think it’s simple: follow the trail of ice and snow. But how are you going to do that if the whole place is now a world of ice and snow?
Next up is that weird country store, selling summer clothes and swim stuff at 75% off and all winter stuff at 0% off, but it was all out of stock anyway. Kristoff comes in and demands to pay ten bucks for a pickaxe, rope, and carrots, but because “demands are high this time of year for winter stuff,” he had to pay $20, but he didn’t have that much money. All I cared about was the fact that his little store they were in was in the middle of nowhere. How could demands be high if nobody ever visited his shop?
After they leave the shop, Anna starts talking about her fiancé. She only hinted at the fact that they got engaged only after a few hours of knowing each other, but Kristoff seemed to notice it, and he wouldn’t stop talking about that, even though Anna kept trying to get back on track. At that point I was liking Kristoff because he’s like me; I’ll notice small details that are strange or wrong and magnify them greatly, making sure that other people notice it.
The next major part of the movie is the snowman, Olaf. While he’s my favorite part of the movie, he’s actually quite dumb. His dreams of having fun in the summer are absolutely crazy, but at least he can do things without all of his body being there.
During the conversation between Anna and Elsa in the ice castle (I’m actually surprised Anna never slipped on that ice), I was really hoping Elsa would just tell Anna why she couldn’t be with her. At least once she did that, Anna would know now to keep away from Anna and avoid getting hurt. But hey, the story wouldn’t have been a good story if the conflict was solved too easily.
During the next scenes I was busy scratching a mosquito bite a few inches above my ankle. I actually started paying more attention when Anna’s hair was completely white. Then her hands started to slowly frost, then suddenly she was an ice statue. For a second I’m thinking that’s a lousy way to show that someone’s heart is freezing, then I’m thinking that that statue feels a lot like what happened in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, when the witch turned her enemies to stone, and they take dramatic poses right before they died. When she started unfreezing, she unfroze just the way victims of the Witch’s wrath were brought back to life.
When the sword of Hans breaks because he hit the frozen Anna, I couldn’t believe it. What kind of ice is hard enough to break a sword, without getting chipped at all?
Then the unfrozen Anna punches Hans right into the lake. That must have not been much of a punch, more of a push, because I can’t see a punch doing that kind of damage.
So overall, I think Frozen was a great movie, but not as great as The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, which came out in theaters the same time.